Dry Spell

If I had to describe my dating life right now I would say that I am going through a serious DRY SPELL. My blog partner in crime D-N-D said it best when she said that dating is not for the faint at heart. That couldn't be farther from the truth. I'm getting matches pretty much everyday and no bites? What's the haps? This has caused me to keep going back over my profile, looking at my pictures trying to make sure I put my best faces up there. :) I'm fabulous and no one is trying to holler at me? Their loss! Anyway, I guess it's ok for now, it frees me up to focus on myself right? (At least that's what I tell myself - LOL!). Don't get me wrong, I have a few stragglers here and there but nothing that's really peeking my interest. With that said folks, guys and dolls alike, please drop us an email and share your story and we'll post it here on The Online Dating Dilemma.

All in love is fair, or is it?

I'm fair, at least I tend to think I am. However, I must say that the one great advantage to this whole online dating thing is the one thing that actually makes me feel a little guilty.  Online dating really affords you the freedom to never respond to someone if they send you an icebreaker or list of questions. For some reason however I feel horrible when I do get a match that's interested and I'm not attracted to them in the least bit. I mean, I've been matched with people who I think are just "ok" and have communicated with them because looks aren't everything right? (as the little voice in my head is saying, they're not?) While I know I don't owe anyone an explanation, perhaps I should draft a note that I can send to everyone I'm not interested in.  What would it say?

Dear Guy,

While I appreciate your email I just can't, I can't.

Dear Guy,

Thanks for your email, I just got married. Sorry.

Dear Guy,

I don't know why we were matched, now leave me alone.

LOL! Kidding I could never be that mean. Leave me a comment, do you think I should enjoy the freedom I've been given by not responding at all, or have a standard "not interested" response? Funny enough, I did get matched with one guy where in his profile he apologized in advance if he didn't respond at all. Perhaps I can copy off him?? 

The Doug Saga --the dramatic conclusion!

So it has been awhile since I have posted anything, primarily because sadly there has been nothing to report, but then I realized I didn't write about what happened to my interaction with Doug.  So you got from my first post about Doug that Doug's problem appeared to be FOLLOW THROUGH.  Well sadly that is the reason that our brief online love affair ended.  But for a recap of the many failed attempts to actually meet Doug look at the blog post "I am not sure what to call this one" in September.  It makes for good reading.

So after not meeting up for coffee, Doug asked me to have lunch with him during the week.  We agreed to have lunch downtown (close to my job) at 12:30pm so we could finally meet.  That day I sent him a text message around 11am confirming that lunch was still a go.  His message to me was "I'm at the dentist".  He later explains via text message that he didn't realize he had a dentist appointment and that it was later in the day and would conflict with our lunch date.  By this time I was pretty much done.  I mean it didn't appear that this should be this hard to just meet up with someone for coffee or a drink or lunch.  I mean DANG it's not like rocket science we are just trying to meet. So lunch was a bust and Doug BEGGED (literally) me to have lunch with him on Friday.  He begged me via text message and via phone!  That's right the boy actually called because if you recall from my previous post Doug loved to text but somehow hated to actually talk. Go figure! When we spoke on the phone I asked him a question:  "Doug do you really still want to meet?  Because it is no big deal.  If you don't want to meet anymore I completely understand.  We can both go on about our merry way".  His response:  "NOOOO!  Please I WANT to meet you.  I promise I will be there.  You tell me where and I promise I will be there". 

So we decided to meet at a Thai restaurant on 8th Street at 12:30pm.  I got there at like 12:25pm.  There was no sign of Doug so I sat down and ordered my lunch.  This was one of my favorite Thai restaurants so a sista was going to eat.  Needless to say, Doug never showed up and he never called me again!  The first time I have ever been stood up.  Honestly, I wasn't upset I think because I had already decided Doug was a bust but mostly because my chicken pad thai was the BOMB!  :-)  HOLLA!

Pain in my hip ---OR--- The one I conveniently never told you about

I’ve failed to mention my first eHarmony "love" to you all – Chase. This love, hate relationship has been going on since July of this year. It started off pretty good even though he often came on a little bit too strong, (but then again I am the bomb.com so that’s to be expected) and nowadays, well, I can honestly say that we successfully get on each others nerves.  I can probably write a book about our short love affair if you will, but to be honest its not worth the key strokes. The long and short of it is that we fuss and argue all the time. It's weird, I know. To be honest as I'm typing this, I'm snickering because the things we fuss about are sooooo stupid and really unnecessary.

Anyway, I hadn’t seen him in over a month and when he asked me out on a pseudo date the other night, I thought that since it had been a while, perhaps things may go smooth. Here's to wishful thinking....While we're driving to this spot downtown, I decided to let him know that what I really appreciated about him was also what got on my nerves about him – his honesty. While I envy his ability to be honest Abe, he can also be a bit curt, a bit pushy and  bit of a know it all. On the flip side, he thinks I’m too sensitive. Whatever! We can go around that mulberry bush all day long, perhaps never coming to any resolution.

It was today however that I was able to make an analogy as it relates to our "relationship." I have this pain in my hip you see and each time it’s feeling just a little better, I chance going for a quick run in hopes that the pain won't  worsen.  Each time, my hopes fail me and my hip is pained. The same it is with Mr. Chase, each time , I think something is going to be different, I think we are going to have a good time together,  we'll hang out it ends of going south at some point. Really at several points.  I say all this, and to be honest I'm sure this is not the end of he and I. Why I don't know? Perhaps we like the mutual aggravation.... Anyway, I'm sure I'll have a few more things to say about him before it's all said and done, in the meantime, just call me crazy or something.

Jesus is that you?

I'm going through my matches only to find a guy who calls himself "Holiness." Really? I was expecting to open it up and see Jesus, but I didn't. He did have on white shoes though. Does that make him pure and holy tried and true? Needless to say, we never communicated.

Poll Results

How Long Have You Participated in Online Dating?

 

 25% said six months or less

25% said six months or more

50% said more than they are willing to admit 

 

 Go to the sidebar on the right and cast your vote in our next poll

Would you relocate for love?

Better Left Unsaid

I've been talking to this one guy over the phone for almost a month now (about 6 or 7 conversations) and while I try to remain open and give people a chance, that doesn't necessarily shield one from my cracks or snide comments nor does it give one some sort of immunity when it comes to my giving you a nickname. This particular guys nickname is kinda mean so I won't say here. (of course these names and cracks are only reserved for my friends and co-workers, I'm not that mean). 

Anyway, our conversation is so so and, even though we live close to each other, we haven't met yet.  I guess he's not to happy about that because when I asked him about his weekend a week or so ago, he proceeds to tell me that he went on a date with someone he met on eHarmony. He told me twice within 10 minutes of being on the phone. I guess I was supposed to care. Not! I don't know you like that for one and secondly, we're on a dating site for pete's sake, I suspect, I'm not the only one you are communicating with and you surely aren't the only I'm talking too.

Fast forward a week or so later. We're talking on the phone and when I asked him how his week was going he AGAIN proceeds to tell me that he's been talking to someone he met on the site but wasn't sure where it was going as of yet. I couldn't let this one go so I asked him why he felt the need to tell me? He said he just wanted to be honest to which I responded nicely that I really didn't care. (in those words exactly) I'm not telling him all my dating tales. For what? It's really none of his business.

We ended up getting into a longer conversation about what it was each of us were looking for and while it was productive, it was also that conversation where I decided that he and I probably weren't going any further because I don't want to be rushed. Don't get me wrong, I'm no spring chicken and I should be on the fast track, but like I told him, I'm a pro at rushing and forcing things and this time I'm giving myself permission to take my time a little bit.  (I say that now at least).

Anyway sir,  I may have given you a chance, and who knows, perhaps I will let you back into my world at some point but some things are just better left unsaid.