Top Ten Reasons to try Online Dating (David Letterman Style)

10.Your grandmother who has dementia calls you an old maid.

9. You and your friends find joy in making bets on when other people will get married.

8. You start to get gray hairs in places you cannot mention on this blog.

7. Your mother refers to you and your friends as spinsters.

6. You haven't been on a date since the Clinton years.

5. When you're sad that the local crackhead/drunk doesn't hit on you anymore.

4.When your Friday night plans consists of your girlfriend tweezing your one chin hair.

3.When you think of your male friends who you would never date as a potential boo.

2. When going to Whole Foods and Trader Joe's is a highlight of your social life.

and the # one reason you should try online dating (drum roll please)

1. When you've got more movies in your Netflix queue than you've got eggs (in your ovaries that is)

Finally Free........

I tried, really I did. I at the very least put my somewhat, almost, kinda sorta best foot forward when it came to Ok Stupid, whoops, I mean OkCupid.com but I couldn't do it any longer. After a good two months I had to call it quits. As I stated in an earlier post, their matching philosophy (whatever that was) was strange, and to be honest, I wasn't all that fond of the matches they sent me. Now can I say that I am more pleased with eHarmony right now? The verdict is still out. In the meantime, Sassy is still looking for love, or should I say looking for love to find me.

PS: I should probably mention that I just disabled my account for the time being which means I can come back later if I choose. Don't ask me why, I will more than likely delete it in the near future. Please remind me to do so in the event I get desperate, I mean curious. :)

a few....Random Thoughts

....Who would have thought that I would be giving dating and love advice to one of my earlier e-harmony matches?

....You're 24, I'm 30 something, no I'm not going to date you. If I had you as a teenager you could be my son. Besides, I don't have enough cash to be a cougar.

....No, I don't want to be your friend, sorry your 47, too old for me (too old, too young, am I picky?)

....No, I don't want to go to happy hour with you, not after the things I found when I Googled you...lol

....Is there any particular reason why you are trying to look hard core at this age? Beat it!

....Are you really that pressed to give me all your contact info before even saying hello (work, home cell, email etc.) I'm not attracted to you unfortunately.

.... Really, your one word answers are killing me. Forget it!

....I keep closing my eyes and hoping you will disappear when I open them. #goaway 

 

Poll Results

Would you rather 

Be Married 

or Live Together?

100% of the poll takers said the would rather be married

 Go to the sidebar on the right and cast your vote in our next poll 

Would you date your friend's ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend?

 

Why Why Why (with a question mark)

I'm active on eHarmony again if I haven't filled you in and after sending a simple hello how are you email to a guy who was interested, this is the response I received. Verbatim.


"HEY HEY SASSY AND HW ARE UUUUUU.. HW IS THE LIFE.. HW IS THE HEART. NICE TO SEE I GET A LIL TYPE TALK... MAYBE THE FACE WILL SMILE.. SOO HW IS THE TIME SPENT.. I TAKE IT NO ONE SPECIAL.. ANY KIDS... BIG FAMILY... AS FOR MEEEEE I AM TRING TO LIVE THE LIFE.. NOOO ONE SPECIAL.. NO LIL ONES.. NEED TO HAVE THE QUEEN FIRST.. MAYBE ONE DAY I WILL GET TO BE APPRECIATED AND GET THAT ATTN... HOPE HE WKEND WAS GOOD FOR YHA.. MAYABE I WILL GET A MOMENT IN UR DAY TO DAY.. BE GOOD BE SAFEST.. HUGGS.. YEEEEEEEEEE

PS.. DO I GET TO SEE A PIC OR 12.;)"

PS: He's 37 year old into the music industry and this is how he looked in all his pics complete with gold chains, bracelet and ring. With that being said, why I responded is beyond me. Crazy perhaps? Perhaps. I would say Calgon take me away but I need something much MUCH stronger.

Ok Cupid? No, Ok Stupid!

I haven't fully figured out how this OkCupid site works, but what I do know, is that you have to answer a TON of questions (waaaay more than Eharmony) and based on how you answer these questions the site will rate people against your profile. Their rating system cracks me up. They tell you how much, using percentages a person is compatible with you but in sort of a dumb way.

For example Josh is:

 61% Match 68% Friend 19% Enemy

I'm guessing they are saying that we would be better friends than lovers however we would more than likely argue a lot based on the the fact that we disagree on 19% of the questions answered.

Eric is 

82% Match 77% Friend 4% Enemy

So we'd be a better couple than friends and we would only argue a little??? I think I need to re-think being on this site, it's not quite making any sense to me?? Perhaps I have this whole thing wrong, but why would I want to be matched with anyone who's enemy percentage is above 0%? This is making me tired, sheesh!

 

Somebody Feed Me!

I decided to go out with Michael even though I wasn't that attracted to him and even though our conversation leading up to it wasn't all that great. (I think this open mind thing is working against me. lol!) To name a few of our differences, he's a home body, I'm sooo not, He's soft spoken, I'm not. He works waaaaay to much, I don't. He's not that cool, and, well, I am. (ha ha I crack myself up!). With that in mind, why I decided on a restaurant that I frequent is beyond me. For that matter, why I decided to go on the date in the first place is beyond me. Nevertheless, we went anyway and as always the food was fantastic. There was nothing too exciting about the date, however, I was cordial and I attempted to be my normal comedic self. During conversation, however uneventful it was, I told him that what he ordered looked good and he proceeded to ask me if I wanted to try. As I went to pick my fork up to taste, he spoons some up and he proceeds to feed me. How do I say this? AWKWARD! It all happened so fast I didn't know what to do so I took the food and then looked around the restaurant praying no one witnessed it. Yet another post I don't know how to end. Lawd have mercy. lol.

ps: this was our first and last date.